![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Jan. 19th, 2014
Day 18 - Lawyer Jokes
Jan. 19th, 2014 02:00 amThese are awful... and one of my favorite people in the world is a lawyer. Lawyer jokes happen to be a weakness of mine.
1. Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep?
Because deep down, they’re nice guys.
2. What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman pinscher.
3. At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.
4. What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!
5. When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
When his lips are shut.
6. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
7. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
8. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
9. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
10. An attorney passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The attorney immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The attorney protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the attorney was willing to change venue to Hell. When the attorney asked why appeals could be heard so much sooner in Hell, he was told, "We have all of the judges."
1. Why do they bury lawyers 10 feet deep?
Because deep down, they’re nice guys.
2. What's black and brown and looks good on a lawyer?
A Doberman pinscher.
3. At the rate law schools are turning them out, by 2050 there will be more lawyers than humans.
4. What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?
A total waste of space!
5. When do you know a lawyer is telling the truth?
When his lips are shut.
6. What do you have when 100 lawyers are buried up to their necks in sand?
Not enough sand.
7. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
Professional courtesy.
8. How many lawyers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Three, One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder company.
9. What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A good start!
10. An attorney passed on and found himself in Heaven, but not at all happy with his accommodations. He complained to St. Peter, who told him that his only recourse was to appeal his assignment. The attorney immediately advised that he intended to appeal, but was then told that he would be waiting at least three years before his appeal could be heard. The attorney protested that a three-year wait was unconscionable, but his words fell on deaf ears. The lawyer was then approached by the devil, who told him that he would be able to arrange an appeal to be heard in a few days, if the attorney was willing to change venue to Hell. When the attorney asked why appeals could be heard so much sooner in Hell, he was told, "We have all of the judges."
Paperback swap linkage
Jan. 19th, 2014 07:06 pmJoin and trade your gently used books for new to you books.
