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Day #18: Never Doubt I Love
Quote:
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
Fandom :MCU
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2
*
Steve had thought about Tony all day. And all night before that. He hadn’t seen him since Siberia. The last year and a half had been hard on them all. He read the papers and saw Tony and Pepper smiling and waving on television. He, Sam and Natasha had been in the shadows, fighting secretly just as they had done openly before.
Someone tapped of the door to the cheap motel room in Amsterdam. Steve’s heart raced as he rose and opened the door.
“Well, you certainly look different,” Tony said as he strolled into the room like a Hollywood celebrity. He slipped his glasses down a little and looked over them at Steve. Steve noticed the difference in his eyes. They were wary and suspicious, tired.
“I have to. Interpol or someone will pick us up. Don’t want Sam or Natasha to go to jail.”
“Aren’t you considerate?” Tony sneered.
“What do you want, Stark?” He’d felt guilty long enough. He did what he did to protect Bucky and with the same info he had then, he’d do it again. Period.
“Just wanted to see how you’re faring.” Tony sat on the worn sofa on one side of the room.
“Why the fuck would you care?” Steve asked, all the civility he had was stripped away.
He saw the look, the one he knew well, when Tony shut down and became the petulant little bastard he’d been a long time ago. But what he said next floored Steve. “I loved you once. Do you remember?”
Steve did remember – every night when he lay alone in his bed, he remembered loving Tony Stark. They’d tried to deny it for a while but after SHIELD fell, Tony had hunted him and thrown himself at Steve. Steve had happily caught him and they’d begun something that went deeper than either of them had known it would. Steve had actually gone into it thinking he’d have some fun with Stark and had been in love with him after the first time they’d made love. Stark had filled a gap in him that he hadn’t know existed.
Then came the bad times. They’d lasted right up until Siberia and Steve knew he was out of control, but he couldn’t stop himself. He simply owed Bucky his life and he couldn’t fail him again.
“I do. I still love you,” Steve told him as he sat on the other end of the sofa.
“Did you ever really love me or was it that I was your favorite playmate? Anything you wanted, I played. Fuck me? Sure. Fuck you? You betcha. Was I just your favorite piece of ass?” Tony was angry still.
“Was I yours? Did you get angry over me not telling you or over me choosing to save Bucky?”
Stark paled under his natural olive skin tone. Steve saw it. He knew he hit a nerve. He wanted to touch Tony, to soothe him, but he didn’t move. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really didn’t know exactly, but I guessed what he’d done. I couldn’t let you take him to Ross. They’d have cut him up like a rat. I didn’t choose him over you. I chose to save him.”
Tony didn’t say anything but he reached up and removed the sunglasses. “He’s not your lover?”
“No. He’s like a brother to me. I love him and will always love him, but not the way I love you, Tony.”
As if embarrassed by the profession, Tony changed the subject. “Do you get enough to eat? Do you have somewhere to sleep every night?”
“Not always. But we get by.”
“Fuck! I was going to come in here and tell you off and fuck you then tell you that you were nothing to me but a well hung toy.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Tony put his hand to touch Steve but tucked it back close to his body. “You’re quite beautiful with the long hair and beard. Did you know that?”
“Thanks. You look healthy and happy and you were always beautiful.”
“I’m still angry with you.”
Steve nodded. “I know.”
“Can I make love to you here and now anyway?” Tony looked so hopeful that Steve would have said yes no matter what.
He nodded. “Of course.”
“What do we – how do – what do you want?’ Tony was not usually so unsure or if he was, he never let anyone know it.
“Anything you want.”
Tony crossed the space between them and kissed Steve. Steve wrapped his arms around Stark and kissed him back. They tore at one another’s clothing and fell into the bed moments later.
Half an hour later, they lay naked beneath the thin blanket on the mushy old bed. Both of them lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling.
“I missed this so much. I liked that you allowed me to be strong when I was the weaker one,” Tony said to him as he moved close to Steve.
Steve chuckled. “There’s never been anything weak about you.”
“Will you tell the others?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“I think not. Let’s keep this between us. Can we meet again somewhere?” Tony asked.
“We can. Can I ask you something?” Steve asked, rolling up onto his side.
“Shoot.” Tony smiled and it reached his eyes.
“Can we do this,” he waved his arm over them and the bed, “again before you leave me?”
Tony went to his arms and kissed him. “I thought you’d never ask.”
It was morning before they emerged from their cheap love nest and when they parted, they kissed as if they’d never see each other again.
They very nearly didn’t.
Doubt thou the stars are fire;
Doubt that the sun doth move;
Doubt truth to be a liar;
But never doubt I love.
Fandom :MCU
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene 2
*
Steve had thought about Tony all day. And all night before that. He hadn’t seen him since Siberia. The last year and a half had been hard on them all. He read the papers and saw Tony and Pepper smiling and waving on television. He, Sam and Natasha had been in the shadows, fighting secretly just as they had done openly before.
Someone tapped of the door to the cheap motel room in Amsterdam. Steve’s heart raced as he rose and opened the door.
“Well, you certainly look different,” Tony said as he strolled into the room like a Hollywood celebrity. He slipped his glasses down a little and looked over them at Steve. Steve noticed the difference in his eyes. They were wary and suspicious, tired.
“I have to. Interpol or someone will pick us up. Don’t want Sam or Natasha to go to jail.”
“Aren’t you considerate?” Tony sneered.
“What do you want, Stark?” He’d felt guilty long enough. He did what he did to protect Bucky and with the same info he had then, he’d do it again. Period.
“Just wanted to see how you’re faring.” Tony sat on the worn sofa on one side of the room.
“Why the fuck would you care?” Steve asked, all the civility he had was stripped away.
He saw the look, the one he knew well, when Tony shut down and became the petulant little bastard he’d been a long time ago. But what he said next floored Steve. “I loved you once. Do you remember?”
Steve did remember – every night when he lay alone in his bed, he remembered loving Tony Stark. They’d tried to deny it for a while but after SHIELD fell, Tony had hunted him and thrown himself at Steve. Steve had happily caught him and they’d begun something that went deeper than either of them had known it would. Steve had actually gone into it thinking he’d have some fun with Stark and had been in love with him after the first time they’d made love. Stark had filled a gap in him that he hadn’t know existed.
Then came the bad times. They’d lasted right up until Siberia and Steve knew he was out of control, but he couldn’t stop himself. He simply owed Bucky his life and he couldn’t fail him again.
“I do. I still love you,” Steve told him as he sat on the other end of the sofa.
“Did you ever really love me or was it that I was your favorite playmate? Anything you wanted, I played. Fuck me? Sure. Fuck you? You betcha. Was I just your favorite piece of ass?” Tony was angry still.
“Was I yours? Did you get angry over me not telling you or over me choosing to save Bucky?”
Stark paled under his natural olive skin tone. Steve saw it. He knew he hit a nerve. He wanted to touch Tony, to soothe him, but he didn’t move. “I didn’t mean to hurt you. I really didn’t know exactly, but I guessed what he’d done. I couldn’t let you take him to Ross. They’d have cut him up like a rat. I didn’t choose him over you. I chose to save him.”
Tony didn’t say anything but he reached up and removed the sunglasses. “He’s not your lover?”
“No. He’s like a brother to me. I love him and will always love him, but not the way I love you, Tony.”
As if embarrassed by the profession, Tony changed the subject. “Do you get enough to eat? Do you have somewhere to sleep every night?”
“Not always. But we get by.”
“Fuck! I was going to come in here and tell you off and fuck you then tell you that you were nothing to me but a well hung toy.”
“Why didn’t you?”
Tony put his hand to touch Steve but tucked it back close to his body. “You’re quite beautiful with the long hair and beard. Did you know that?”
“Thanks. You look healthy and happy and you were always beautiful.”
“I’m still angry with you.”
Steve nodded. “I know.”
“Can I make love to you here and now anyway?” Tony looked so hopeful that Steve would have said yes no matter what.
He nodded. “Of course.”
“What do we – how do – what do you want?’ Tony was not usually so unsure or if he was, he never let anyone know it.
“Anything you want.”
Tony crossed the space between them and kissed Steve. Steve wrapped his arms around Stark and kissed him back. They tore at one another’s clothing and fell into the bed moments later.
Half an hour later, they lay naked beneath the thin blanket on the mushy old bed. Both of them lay on their backs, staring at the ceiling.
“I missed this so much. I liked that you allowed me to be strong when I was the weaker one,” Tony said to him as he moved close to Steve.
Steve chuckled. “There’s never been anything weak about you.”
“Will you tell the others?”
“Only if you want me to.”
“I think not. Let’s keep this between us. Can we meet again somewhere?” Tony asked.
“We can. Can I ask you something?” Steve asked, rolling up onto his side.
“Shoot.” Tony smiled and it reached his eyes.
“Can we do this,” he waved his arm over them and the bed, “again before you leave me?”
Tony went to his arms and kissed him. “I thought you’d never ask.”
It was morning before they emerged from their cheap love nest and when they parted, they kissed as if they’d never see each other again.
They very nearly didn’t.